Look, these are trying times, and sacrifices have had to be made. I don’t really feel like doing a big, fancy intro, so let’s get right to the bloodshed.
El Choppo, both members of Reverse Racism, (OG Minh and The Inscrutable JEFF) and former Tri-State World Cruiserweight Champion Rodimus Primo has signed with Tri-State Lucha Libre. The RRs are kind of a high-speed duo who make more and more sense in a lucha promotion the more that you think about it, but Choppo is going to have a rough time, seeing as how his entire grasps of the Spanish language is confined within the drive-thru menu at Taco Belfry. It hurts to see Rodimus go, but I get it. He’s taken his two title match losses to Immortan Jimmy pretty hard, and he’s looking for a fresh start. Also, allegedly, TSLL is in talks to sign his older brother, Ultramagnifico.
Toxic Walt, Gunnar Van Heusen, and Trondheim Troy have signed with Extreme Wrestling XTREME. Two of those signings make a lot of sense for the hardcore fed, and the other… does not. This will not end well. Also of note is that EWX has signed former TSWA superstar-in-the-making Damien Nova, who has been out of wrestling for about 15 years, because he’s been in prison for most of that time. If he’s got anything whatsoever left in the tank, that could be interesting.
Sweet Brown Sugar Disco Dynamite Mama Fox, Hannah Bananarama, and Patty Bobatty have signed with Japan’s All-Star Wrestling NOTORIETY promotion. Extremely Long Name Fox clearly has potential, but needs more seasoning, and Notoriety has the money and roster room to make that happen. Patty and the banana girl are clearly in the “looking for a fresh start” category, but they shouldn’t get their hopes up.
Several wrestlers have become true free agents, including Grizzle 4 Shizzle, Hogarth the Unyielding, Louis Van Leeuwenhoek, The Undertaken, The Basketball Crank, Deandra Stroyer, The Fighting Cocks (Rhode Island Red & Buff Orpington), That One Big Kid Who’s Not Gonna Make It (you hate to see it, folks) and Peppy Wright, who absolutely no one is sad to see leave. It’s morning in America, folks.
In more uplifting news, Broccolord and The Gentrificator have been upgraded from Hoss Dojo trainees to full fledged members of the STRUGGLE roster. A few others have been given permission to accept bookings with other local promotions, but will continue to train at the Dojo, at least theoretically under the STRUGGLE banner. Lil’ Snooks Tutwiler and His Excellency are expected to pop up on EWX shows starting sometime soon, and although none of them seem particularly lucha-ish, Them Mook Boys, Carrie Shipley and Deadly Nightshade should be making some TSLL appearances sooner or later.
Finally, after nearly thirty years in the sport and not a single win as far as anyone can remember, Dick Smales has retired. And no one cares.