(NOTE: Due to the incredibly timely nature of this post, it’s necessary to point out that this all pertains to the events of SHELTER IN PLACE #3. Also, there were reports of some weird visual glitches, almost as though this all took place on a heavily-modded video game, but that is FAKE NEWS from the failing Wrestling Observer.)

(Backstage, DOCTOR REVEREND BILLY WAYNE HUMBLE has just defeated TYRANNOSAURUS PLEX with a timely assist from the team of FATHER MAYHEM and RABBI SPIKE, aka the tag team of BAD RELIGION. The entirety of HUMBLE MINISTRIES is there, with SISTER CANDY supervising as BROTHER SMOTHERS and SISTER DOBALINA load up the few remaining bottles of HUMBLE’S MIRACLE ELIXIR for transport back to the van, and Humble himself goes over the night’s receipts and packs away a substantial amount of cash. As Candy and Dobalina make their way outside, the two members of BAD RELIGION approach.)

BILLY WAYNE HUMBLE: (moving quickly to close the cash box and pass it off to SMOTHERS, who exits the scene, before breaking into a huge smile and going into full snake oil salesman mode) Why hello there, my brothers! As we have not had a proper introduction, allow me to introduce myself, I am the right honorable Doctor Reverend-

RABBI SPIKE: Ve know, ya putz. And I am thinking you know us, too.

FATHER MAYHEM: Gotta say, “Doctor Reverend,” this is a helluva operation you got here. Sure would be a shame if something were to… happen to it. (picks up a bottle of elixir and cracks open the seal, taking a sniff and immediately recoiling in disgust)

HUMBLE: (indignantly snatches the bottle out of Spike’s hand) Excuse me, but that is a very expensive medicinal preparation. And I do not appreciate your tone, my good sir. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that sounded like a threat.

Read more AFTER THE JUMP, YA SCHMUCK