(copied and pasted from the Pro Wrestling Observator website, and if they say anything about it, we’ll stop letting Jeremy leak news scoops to them, and maybe rat them out for all those illegal View Japan pay-per-view streams that Gummo hooked them up with – Abdul)

SOUTH CENTRAL TRI-STATE AREA – Popular newcomer and previously undefeated STRUGGLE Pro Wrestling powerhouse Skip Legday suffered a gruesome injury at last night’s house show in a routine match against Garfield Vanzetti. The injury occurred at the 11:12 mark, when Vanzetti (who normally competes on a part-time basis for local backyard fed Grim Holler Wrasslin’) when Vanzetti executed what he refers to as a “special tactical maneuver,” but to ringside observers, was simply a full-speed kick to the crotch. Skip crumpled in a heap and was counted out, while Vanzetti hightailed it back to the ring, grabbing a steel chair in the process in what appeared to a state of be pants-shitting terror. In a scary moment, Skip did not move for several minutes after the match, and was eventually stretchered out.