2022 was a year for the ages, in the sense that every year is technically one for the ages, just by virtue of being a year. It was… Truly a year of contrasts. Whatever, I dunno, introductory paragraphs are hard. Stay with me here, and we’ll take a look back at the year that was, as well as taking stock of where we are right now, as we wrank some restlers once again.
Continue reading JANUARY 2023 RESTLEWRANKINGS/2022 YEAR-IN-REVIEWTag Archives: warrior pro
WELCOME TO HELL
(The camera fades in from black, with a shot of a television in a dark room, showing footage of the infamous tag team championship match between the Think Tanks and the team of Big Bird Machine and then STRUGGLE World Heavyweight Champion Ace La Grange. With the voice of the late, great Tri-State Area legend Gunther Buckshank calling the action, it appears as though Bird and Ace are about to win the match and the titles, but just as Ace hoists Think Tank X up for his Royal Flush finishing move, Think Tanks manager Brain God, The Calculation Master frantically motions toward the back, and on cue, the gigantic Think Tank Z storms the ring. Chaos ensues, as the match devolves into a three-on-two beatdown, or considering the terrifying nature of Think Tank Z, effectively something like five-on-two.)
“Ladieth and Gentlemanth, dith ith a travethty! Ol’ Guth is callin’ for da bell, but Think Tank Z ith on a damn rampage, and the world’th champion ith in a bad way! Thumbody needth to do thumthin’!”
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THE DAILY STRUGGLE #11
(NOTE: This used to be called The STRUGGLE Session, but we realized that was too good a name and will be using it for house shows going forward)
First of all, the biggest story as of late was Tupac Machine’s somewhat turbulent run in Warrior Pro’s G2 Tournament. After a hot (yet controversial) start, scoring wins over La Guerra De Sangre’s Super Mohan and Red Masterson, it ended disappointingly with to two straight losses to Trey Taylor and Jack Gold, thanks in no small part to intervention by President Evil and his Administration. Somehow, this also lead to an interpromotional war between STRUGGLE and La Guerrra, which also ended disappointingly, as a La Guerra vs. B.A.R.S./Evil Administration match ended in a time limit draw.
And in truly inexplicable Evil fashion, rather than participating in the post-show press conference like a normal person, he came back home, waited several weeks, and then clogged up a back hallways at The Vito giving a foul-mouthed and, quite frankly, barely-coherent press conference. Basically, it was a lengthy exercise in his pathological need to screw with people, and this time around, (and thankfully for the rest of us here) he seems to have aimed his personal Chaos Cannon toward the west coast. The following is a partial transcript:
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BREAKING NEWS: BIG BIRD MACHINE ATTACKED FOLLOWING WARRIORVERSARY II
(copied and pasted from the Pro Wrestling Observator website, and if they say anything about it, I’m gonna send Rage Man to their office to get back all those free leftover Think Tanks shirts we gave them, by any means necessary – Abdul)
SAN JOSE – Chaos erupted backstage at Warrior Pro Wrestling‘s otherwise wildly successful Warriorversary II show, when visiting regional legend Big Bird Machine was assaulted following his match with Warrior Pro’s Rampage Hunter. Mr. Machine, who wrestles for STRUGGLE Pro Wrestling, an outlaw mudshow located in the South Central Tri-State Area, was delivering a post-match promo when he was attacked by a group of fellow STRUGGLE wrestlers known as The Evil Administration, who were not scheduled to appear. The group is notable for being led by President Evil, a former protege of TSWA legend Governor Justice as well as Big Bird Machine himself, and who was a former Tri-state World Heavyweight champion in STRUGGLE’s original incarnation that ended in 2011. He went on to have decent runs throughout the 2010s in various promotions such as Olive Japan and Neo-One, before repeatedly being fired for behavioral issues and returning to a relaunched STRUGGLE in 2017. Video footage has not been made available of the attack, but the following i a partial transcript:
Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: BIG BIRD MACHINE ATTACKED FOLLOWING WARRIORVERSARY II