Ah, hell, it’s been a hectic couple of weeks, so here’s a show from two weeks ago. Not gonna bother linking the video here, because it’s already about to hit the Twitch time limit. I’m in kind of a hurry to get to last week’s show, so I’m probably not gonna ramble much this time. some words and be happy, you little shits.

MATCH #1: BATTLE ROYAL -Stormy Knight defeated PARTY TIGER, Virginia Slams, Becky With the Awful Hair, Zelda Lucabrasi, Hoda Duda-Day, Taco, Belle & Agent Bulldog

ELIMINATIONS!
Bulldog eliminated by Stormy with the Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex at 11:12
Belle eliminated by Stormy with a Blizzard Suplex at 15:49
Becky Eliminated by Zelda with a Frankensteiner-reversal power bomb at 20:54
Zelda eliminated by Stormy with Lightning Speed at 21:58
Hoda eliminated by Stormy with the Multivortex Arm Breaker at 23:36
Virginia Eliminated by TIGER with the Captain Morgan Latch at 29:56
TIGER eliminated by Stormy with the Multivortex Arm Breaker at 35:41

Nerd Rating: 88% *** 1/2*

Eight wrestlers, seven eliminations, and five done by one person. Stormy was on fire, and we really need to get a new women’s title belt.

MATCH #2: BIG BOI SEASON defeated the Turd Experience when Chungus hit Turd 2 with a back-to-back diving bodypress and a diving senton in 17:42

Nerd Rating: 77% ** 1/2*

Two hefty fellows who fart constantly defeated the Turds.

MATCH #3: Cyberta defeated Jezebel Grim with the Literal Iron Claw Slam in 17:15

Nerd Rating: 79% ** 1/2*

Fantastic match, even if the nerds disagreed. (we’re already in talks with a new set of nerds, this shit is getting old) Jezebel controlled it for a while, but Cyberta had the audacity to use her own Steel Reserve Stunner against her, and kind of took over from there. B.G. made his presence felt.

Watch MATCH OF THE WEEK TWO WEEKS AGO: Robot Arms vs. Modernized Hillbilly Brawling from Turrible666 on www.twitch.tv

Crash Ferrari defeated Black Panther Mask with the reverse figure 4 in 16:38

Nerd Rating: 81% ***

These two guys are gonna fight over the world title someday.

MATCH #4: 4-ON-1 ELIMINATION HANDICAP TAG – Humungulus defeated Bolphunga Slopsley, Dick Smales, Bucko Clambake, and Churd Grunson in 13:38 with various moves

Nerd Rating: 74% **

Mungo smashed.

MATCH #5: Tyrannosaurus Plex defeated Walter Grabowski in 12:12 wih the Pterodactyl Wing

Nerd Rating: 84% ***

Possibly T-Plex’s best match so far on a dramatic level, but he specializes more in smashing fools, so even if he won, it’s still a concern that Walter got his shit in.

MATCH #6: President Evil defeated Think Tank X with The One -winged Canary (seriously) in 15:58

Nerd Rating: 78% ** 1/2*

The Prez avenged himself, and sent a double-message at the end, telling Big Bird Machine that he’s still coming for him, and telling the Think Tank that he’s already looking past them. He really is an asshole.

I’m not putting together nerd stats anymore. Go away.