Hey, house show time. A week ago. Not pressed for time as bad as last time around, but I still don’t feel like typing much, especially after last night’s show. Watch the show (again, split by terrible internet connections), then read words.
Watch Ring of Faulty Internet Connections 2019 from Turrible666 on www.twitch.tv Watch Ring of Faulty Internet Connections 2019 from Turrible666 on www.twitch.tvMATCH #1: INTER-PROMOTIONAL BATTLE ROYAL – Hogarth the Unyielding defeated Ugly, Stupid Bob, Uncle Smelly, Secret Pete, Strauss, Big Dick Fuchs, Buford Randall, and The Uberklaw
ELIMINATIONS:
Klaw eliminated by Dick with the Big Dick Injury at 22:58
Buford eliminated Pete by face-sitting? with at 27:55
Dick eliminated by Smelly with a nut-claw at 28:21
Strauss eliminated by Bob with a sleeper hold at 28:26
Pete eliminated by Hogarth with a bear hug at 33:40
Smelly eliminated by Hogarth in similar fashion at 37:50
Bob eliminated by Hogarth with the Jackhammer at 46:59
No nerd rating? (still working out the kinks with the new nerd crew, but the battle royal ratings were always kind of elevated anyway)
Hogarth hasn’t wrestled much since he signed on, but I get the feeling he’d be a main event guy if he did. Apparently, he has a cushy office job, which is weird, because as far as anyone knows, he does that crazy-ass Hercules Hero of Antiquity shit 24/7. Strauss is going to have to really lay an ass-kicking on someone to live down getting taken out by Stupid Bob.
MATCH #2: Tupac Machine defeated Radical Jeremy in 10:12 with a Liger Bomb
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐ and 1/2⭐ (no more percentages)
Tupac Machine is getting up there in years, but he remains the class of the cruiserweight division. Starting to think we’ll never see him get unmasked, too.
MATCH #3: Marioluigi Lucabrasi defeated Parking Lot Duval in 21:41 with a flying cross-body
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ and 1/2⭐
Marioluigi wasn’t even supposed to be healthy enough to compete, but there he was, and he and Duval put on a goddamn classic. i might have speaken prematurely about him being too small to compete with the heavyweights.
Watch (almost a) FIVE-STAR MATCH! Spicy Mestballs vs. Homelessness from Turrible666 on www.twitch.tvMATCH #4: Stormy Knight, Patience Halliburton-Vanzetti, & Donita pata defeated PARTY TIGER, Becky With the Awful Hair, & Pam From Human Resources in 26:06 when Stormy German suplexed TIGER
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Stormy Knight is another one who’s been on fire lately. The Phantom Rocker interfered again, and somehow, we have to corner her get a match with Donita set up somehow, so maybe she’ll cut that shit out.
MATCH #5: Big Bird Machine & Skip Legday defeated Crash Ferrari & Screaming Rage Man in 15:58 when Bird lariated the hell out of Rage Man
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐ 1/2⭐
Speaking of recurring themes of interference, it was actually kind of weird that Ros Coke didn’t show up for this one. He was talking like he was about to literally murder Crash at one point, and now, I honestly don’t think I’ve seen him in weeks. I need to try and catch TIGEr while she’s semi-sober and find out what’s going on there. Oh yeah, the good guys won.
MATCH #6: Humungulus defeated President Evil in 13:25 with that big spinning power bomb thing
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
HUGE statement win by Mungo and the Think Tank, pushing him up to legit main event status, and possibly reminding the Prez that it was a bad idea to look past him. Not sure where this fued goes from here, but I seriously doubt the Administration will just pack it up and admit defeat.
Good show. again, not doing the nerd stats anymore. Go away.