This show results post is about nine years late, so let’s all just go watch the show so we can remember what happened, then come back here to take a look back at one of STRUGGLE’s best ever nights in terms of nerdy match ratings and one of our worst in terms of hideous, bloody violence. Good times.
Continue reading NO ESCAPE 2023 RESULTS!Tag Archives: first lady evil
TALES OF THE INTERNATIONAL OMNIPRESENT CAMERA!
SAN JOSE, CA: Outside a local hospital, STRUGGLE PRO‘s resident team of antagonists, THE EVIL ADMINISTRATION, are gathered to assess their current situation after a pretty disastrous month, and/or wait for a taxi back to their hotel. Following a sudden, humiliating, and injurious defeat to WARRIOR PRO World Champion DOC WYATT, a neckbrace-clad STRUGGLE final boss PRESIDENT EVIL is suddenly facing unexpected downtime, while everyone else is just bummed to be here, after only finding out a day before the event that seconds were banned from ringside.
PRESIDENT EVIL: I can’t believe this shit. This is a fuckin’ disaster. This was supposed to start the Year of Evil! I was going to get shirts made and all that shit! We should be heading home right now, with all of STRUGGLE’s singles titles, plus the world belt from this fuckin’ place… Instead, you idiots lost your titles, and then… Ugh, that little fucker, and his fuckin’ Diamond Cutter…
TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA! Them’s the Rules
(THE SCENE: At the STRUGGLE offices in the old Blockbuster next to the arena, STRUGGLE President NATE RUGGLE and Head Booker/Everything Else UNCLE ABDUL are meeting with wrestler DONITA ZAPATA, who has been knocked out of action for the forseeable future, following the events of FALL FORWARD #1.)
ABDUL: Are you sure you wanna do this? I know you won’t be takin’ bumps out there all night, but there’s still a chance. I mean, Referoth got nailed out there last week.
DONITA: I know, but just.. Fuck man, I’m gonna be out of work for a year, probably. I’ve got to do something. And I already passed the written test, and the Athletic Commission signed off on it, somehow.
NATE: I guess so, but you do realize that we’re broke, right? If something gets aggravated out there and you need another surgery or something, we can’t help with it. Hell, we couldn’t help with the first one.
DONITA: Yeah, I’m well aware of that. Again, it’s part of why I need a fuckin’ job so bad.
Continue reading TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA! Them’s the Rules
TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA: An evil epilogue
(THE SCENE: In the dressing room next to the sauna at the Abandoned Pines Retirement Home after Fall Forward #2, several members of the Evil Administration reflect on a blisteringly unsuccessful day at the office. BECKY WITH THE EVIL HAIR, having recently become an ex-champion for the second time, has had an extreme reaction to failure, pacing back and forth, angrily kicking and tossing anything she can find, and generally trashing the place. Meanwhile, AGENT BULLDOG seems calm and relaxed, partially because she won her match, and partially because emotions are kind of rare for her. AGENT 35 is in a similar state, but mostly because he just doesn’t give a shit. Freshly-uncrowned former Cruiserweight Champion AGENT FANG is despondent, sulking on a bench, and staring at a “number 2 guy around here” t-shirt that had been made to commemorate his title win, before wadding it up and throwing it across the room.)
FANG: Well, I guess those can go on clearance now…
AGENT 35: Yep, tough break there, my dude. Of course, my shirts can still run free, all thanks to the blessings of lowered expectations.
Continue reading TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA: An evil epilogue
TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA! Missed Connections
(THE SCENE: The Hoss Dojo Training Complex, where in addition to the theoretical stars of tomorrow literally learning the ropes, the stars of today (but mostly yesterday) make use of the facilities throughout the day to stay sharp between shows. It’s open 24 hours a day, not so much by design as because Ol’ Ross Gracie always forgets to lock the place up when he leaves. At an ungodly early hour, two wrestlers have the place all to themselves: Disgraced-and-then-somewhat-re-graced former world’s champion ACE LA GRANGE and his unwitting protege, the size-impaired ZIPPITY DUDA, who is seemingly being forced to run back and forth between the ropes until he dies.)
ACE: C’mon, Zip! You’re draggin’ ass out there, brother!
ZIP: (breathing extremely hard) Because I’ve been doing this forever! And you stopped ten minutes ago!
ACE: Seniority, brother! I set my own pace.
Continue reading TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA! Missed Connections
WAR PARTY 2021 RESULTS!
The first major pay-per-view esque show since STRUGGLE’s relaunch is in the books, and despite the El Pendejo weather phenomenon bringing us snow showers in June, (don’t worry, it was 78 and sunny the next day) it went off without a hitch, or at least with very few. Scores were settled, titles exchanged hands and somehow, no one was killed. Check out the VOD right here, then come back and read about how you should feel about it. I know I say this every time, but I’d love to just embed video, except that either Twitch or WordPress is hopelessly broken. Maybe both? Who can say. anyway, full show report after the jump.
Continue reading WAR PARTY 2021 RESULTS!