This show results post is about nine years late, so let’s all just go watch the show so we can remember what happened, then come back here to take a look back at one of STRUGGLE’s best ever nights in terms of nerdy match ratings and one of our worst in terms of hideous, bloody violence. Good times.
Continue reading NO ESCAPE 2023 RESULTS!
THE DAILY STRUGGLE #13A, I GUESS? 14, WE’LL JUST SAY 14.
Here at STRUGGLE, we know what our audience wants, and that’s hard-hitting pro wrestling action. So here’s some news, notes, and other wordy things. First off, the question that’s been burning up all the Facebooks and Reddits and message boards and magazines and newsletters and Usenet and the BBSes and Tout:
Where in the World is Garfield Vanzetti?
click here or stay in suspense
THE DAILY STRUGGLE #13!
STRUGGLE’s resident innocent little snuggy bear, President Evil, was back at it over the weekend, leading a full-scale assault on Doc Wyatt after his successful title defense at Warrior Pro/Dragon Fire Japan‘s joint New Year’s Gold event. This is pretty much standard procedure for the pirck at this point, but what was odd was that Becky was there doing henchperson work, which is something she rarely (never) does, and Agent Bulldog was nowhere to be seen, when she’s usually the Prez’s evil little sidekick, throwing more gas on the speculation that First Lady Evil is getting ready to kick her out of the Administration. Also odd was that Evil seemed to be completely healthy and moving with ease, when the most recent reports were that he was still laying around in a neck brace and flip-flops, eating meatball sammiches and listening to Kenny Loggins. Eh, I guess he was just screwing with us. Again. Anyway, the theoretically-reunited Jackson Hole Outlaws saved the day, (such as it was – Doc vs. Evil is still one of those “no matter who wins, we lose” situations) and fans of both STRUGGLE and Warrior Pro should probably be monitoring the situation closely.
MORE NEWS AFTER THE JUMP
JANUARY 2023 RESTLEWRANKINGS/2022 YEAR-IN-REVIEW
2022 was a year for the ages, in the sense that every year is technically one for the ages, just by virtue of being a year. It was… Truly a year of contrasts. Whatever, I dunno, introductory paragraphs are hard. Stay with me here, and we’ll take a look back at the year that was, as well as taking stock of where we are right now, as we wrank some restlers once again.
Continue reading JANUARY 2023 RESTLEWRANKINGS/2022 YEAR-IN-REVIEWA VERY EVIL CHRISTMAS
“Hello out there, friends. Your old pal President Evil here, having a nice glass of egg nog next to a roaring fire, soon to settle down for a long winter’s nap. And let’s be honest, I know what you’re all thinking out there: ‘Gee Mister Prez, this seems out of character for an irredeemable monster.’ to which I say this is absolute piffle! Look, I know my reputation, and I realize that as the cervical collar may indicate, the Administration has had a run of bad luck lately, but It’s Christmas! The best, holly-est, jolliest time of the year! It’s a celebration of family and togetherness, as well as the birth of our lord and savior, Christ Jesus, through which all or redeemed. You know, all of that bullshit. But most of all, it’s time to celebrate the spirit of giving! And that’s why I’ve put together a selection of the finest gifts for my pals at STRUGGLE and beyond!”
Continue reading A VERY EVIL CHRISTMAS
FALL FORWARD #3 RESULTS!
Our first and (spoilers?) more than likely only show in association with Schtank industries was…certainly… a thing. A thing… that happened. Yes. Anyway, you should watch the show, too see the things, these things which happened. Also, some weird nonsense went down with Twitch, so THE PERMANENT LINK gets all weird in the main event and throws up server errors no matter what I do, so if you got here soon enough, THE TEMPORARY ONE just has those parts with the audio muted. Anyway, watch it, then come back now, ya hear?
Continue reading FALL FORWARD #3 RESULTS!
TALES OF THE INTERNATIONAL OMNIPRESENT CAMERA!
SAN JOSE, CA: Outside a local hospital, STRUGGLE PRO‘s resident team of antagonists, THE EVIL ADMINISTRATION, are gathered to assess their current situation after a pretty disastrous month, and/or wait for a taxi back to their hotel. Following a sudden, humiliating, and injurious defeat to WARRIOR PRO World Champion DOC WYATT, a neckbrace-clad STRUGGLE final boss PRESIDENT EVIL is suddenly facing unexpected downtime, while everyone else is just bummed to be here, after only finding out a day before the event that seconds were banned from ringside.
PRESIDENT EVIL: I can’t believe this shit. This is a fuckin’ disaster. This was supposed to start the Year of Evil! I was going to get shirts made and all that shit! We should be heading home right now, with all of STRUGGLE’s singles titles, plus the world belt from this fuckin’ place… Instead, you idiots lost your titles, and then… Ugh, that little fucker, and his fuckin’ Diamond Cutter…
WELCOME TO HELL
(The camera fades in from black, with a shot of a television in a dark room, showing footage of the infamous tag team championship match between the Think Tanks and the team of Big Bird Machine and then STRUGGLE World Heavyweight Champion Ace La Grange. With the voice of the late, great Tri-State Area legend Gunther Buckshank calling the action, it appears as though Bird and Ace are about to win the match and the titles, but just as Ace hoists Think Tank X up for his Royal Flush finishing move, Think Tanks manager Brain God, The Calculation Master frantically motions toward the back, and on cue, the gigantic Think Tank Z storms the ring. Chaos ensues, as the match devolves into a three-on-two beatdown, or considering the terrifying nature of Think Tank Z, effectively something like five-on-two.)
“Ladieth and Gentlemanth, dith ith a travethty! Ol’ Guth is callin’ for da bell, but Think Tank Z ith on a damn rampage, and the world’th champion ith in a bad way! Thumbody needth to do thumthin’!”
Continue reading WELCOME TO HELL
STRUGGLEWEEN II RESULTS!
As has become tradition around these parts, STRUGGLE celebrated the devil’s season with a night of ghouls, goblins, and whoever else decided to buy a ticket. As always, go watch the show, then come back here for spooky treats!
Continue reading STRUGGLEWEEN II RESULTS!
TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA! Them’s the Rules
(THE SCENE: At the STRUGGLE offices in the old Blockbuster next to the arena, STRUGGLE President NATE RUGGLE and Head Booker/Everything Else UNCLE ABDUL are meeting with wrestler DONITA ZAPATA, who has been knocked out of action for the forseeable future, following the events of FALL FORWARD #1.)
ABDUL: Are you sure you wanna do this? I know you won’t be takin’ bumps out there all night, but there’s still a chance. I mean, Referoth got nailed out there last week.
DONITA: I know, but just.. Fuck man, I’m gonna be out of work for a year, probably. I’ve got to do something. And I already passed the written test, and the Athletic Commission signed off on it, somehow.
NATE: I guess so, but you do realize that we’re broke, right? If something gets aggravated out there and you need another surgery or something, we can’t help with it. Hell, we couldn’t help with the first one.
DONITA: Yeah, I’m well aware of that. Again, it’s part of why I need a fuckin’ job so bad.
Continue reading TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA! Them’s the Rules