Oh lord, it’s a house show. Watch the video while it’s there, then read them words.
Watch Struggling With My Connection 2019 from Turrible666 on www.twitch.tvMATCH #1: Nasty Dick Bacteria defeated Gunnar Van Heusen in 12:33 when he move-stole the Samurai Driver 84
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
🎵 One of things things is not like other, one of these things just doesn’t belong 🎵
MATCH #2: Taco Belle Defeated Becky with the Awful Hair in 10:59 with the Seven-Layer Driver
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Tacos before fros. Or something.
MATCH #3: The Rockin’ Rocksmen defeated The Fighting Cocks in 18:18 when Rocky hit Red with the Rock n Roll Neckbreaker (Orpington previously CRITICAL!ed by Rocky with a sit-out powerbomb)
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐ 1/2⭐
Somewhere along the line, the Rocksmen went from being downtrodden underdogs who shouldn’t be here to being outright ass-kickers. This time, they beat the Cocks until they were limp and flaccid .
MATCH #4: CANNONBALLS! Defeated Tucker Schertz in 9:15 with the CANNOOOOONBAAAALLLLL
Nerd Rating: ⭐ 1/2⭐
Previously, Tucker had been some kind of STRUGGLE Best Bout Machine. This time around, he got completely housed by the weird hurling-himself-at-people guy.
MATCH #5: Froggy Terry defeated Rodimus Primo in 8:35 with the Terry Splash
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ 1/2⭐
This was wild, because on paper, it sounds like a one-sided squash, but it was like they crammed a 20 minute match into just under nine. Not sure about those noises Rod kept making though.
MATCH #6: Cyberta defeated Agent Bulldog in 14:42 with the Literal Iron Claw
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ 1/2⭐
The Evil Administration vs. Think Tank war has really brought the best out in Cyberta.
MATCH #7: Garfield Vanzetti defeated Uncle Smelly in 23:07 with the Tactical Face Kick
Nerd Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ 1/2⭐
I guess Garfield is going to try and make Skip’s balls his stepping stone to success in STRUGGLE Pro.
MATCH #8: Lorelei Grim defeated Yumiko La Grange in 16:48 with a big splash
Unofficial Nerd Rating: The Chief Nerd spilled Coke on his laptop, so this doesn’t have an actual rating, but if I had to guess, I’d say at least three and a half, judging by the rest of the card’s ratings. ⭐⭐⭐ 1/2⭐
Well, she’s a legend and still the prohibitive favorite to be women’s champ whenever we have one finally, but there’s only so much you can do against someone who has like 100 pounds on you. Technically, this series stands at 1-1, and you just know Yumiko wants a rematch.
MATCH OF THE WEEK!
Watch MATCH OF THE WEEK: Hillbillies vs. Suburbanites from Turrible666 on www.twitch.tv