Tag Archives: yumiko la grange

STRUGGLE SESSION #6!

COOL ZONE #3 CARD!

1. Yumiko La Grange & Crawdad Hoshino vs. PARTY TIGER (STRUGGLE Women’s Champion) & Pam From Human Resources

This was kind of a last-minute addition where someone who hates being in tag matches and opening the show demanded to open the show in a tag match, because it represented the easiest way to jump the line and become number one contender. No way that’ll backfire hilariously.

2. Doctor Reverend Billy Wayne Humble vs. Hogarth the Unyielding

Can the power of Mount Olympus propel the big man past Humble and the thousand people he’ll more than likely have at ringside? Probably not.

3. Donita Zapata vs. Becky (With the Awful Hair)

A battle of truly awful hairstyles, and yet only one of the two looks like that involuntarily.

4. The Outside Agitators (Mayday & DIRECT ACTION) vs. The True Sons of Liberty (Vanzetti & Randall)

Skull Mayday and Comrade DIRECT ACTION finally get a confrontation with Garfield Vanzetti after he effectively got Skip Legday and Captain STRUGGLE effectively barred from the building. Not that this is relevant to them in any way, folks.

5. NO POLICE INVOLVEMENT CHAMPIONSHIP OPEN CHALLENGE – Tony Unity (champ) vs. ???

Not saying that I doubt the validity of this “open challenge” thing, but after Unity’s own employee took him to the limit at the last show, ten bucks says the challenge he accepts is from someone way less psychotic than Uncle Smelly.

6. Ace La Grange & El Hijo Del Big Bird Machine vs. President Evil & Agent 35

No countouts, no disqualifications, no way this doesn’t end with the ring painted a ghstly shade of red. Ace and El Hijo were stupid accept this match and even stupider to request it. There, I said it.

7. CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP – Immortan Jimmy (champ) vs. Froggy Terry

You can say a lot of things about Jimmy, mostly involving the phrase “crazy idiot,” but you can’t say he isn’t a fighting champion. As for Terry, he’s also a crazy idiot, so what can you do.

8. FINAL ATTEMPT EVER – Ross Coke vs. Crash Ferrari

It feels like people forgot that Crash broke Ricky Coke’s neck and Ross swore revenge like a whole damn year ago, mainly because Ross has been too out of it to actually show up when we’ve tried to have this match. But here were are once again, and Ross demanded the match with the stipulation that if he no-shows, it’s getting marked down as a forfeit loss with no rematches ever and no chance of revenge. And yes, we’ve lined up a replacement opponent for Crash, in case of nigh-inevitability.

news, rumors, and promos after the jump

TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA: WAFFLE HOUSE AND ARBY’S

THE SCENE:  Backstage after the opening match of STRUGGLE Pro THE COOL ZONE #1, a freshly-defeated YUMIKO LA GRANGE  is not handling the loss well.   Despite the intervention of STRUGGLE Pro head booker UNCLE ABDUL, it can be safely said that she is absolutely losing her shit.

YUMIKO LA GRANGE;  What the fuck was that, anyway!?  Lorelei Grim is like a thousand fucking pounds!  She moves like a sloth!  How the fuck can you not duck that lariat!?

TOSHIYO NAKANO:  Please, Yumiko-san, I-I I try, but she just-

YLG:  Do not give me a fucking excuse!  DUCK! THE FUCKING! CLOTHESLINE!

UNCLE ABDUL:  For Christ’s sakes, Yumiko, just calm down!

Continue reading TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA: WAFFLE HOUSE AND ARBY’S →

TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA – ROAD TO THE COOL ZONE, PART ONE: SCORPION BUCKET

THE SCENE: The STRUGGLE Pro offices in the former Blockbuster Video next to the bingo hall/wrestling arena. Head booker/building superintendent UNCLE ABDUL stands on a ladder, poking around in a ceiling panel next to a non-functional fluorescent light. The front door chimes as it swings open, and former women’s world champion/Hoss Dojo assistant head trainer YUMIKO LA GRANGE enters

YUMIKO: Abdul? Hoss said you needed to see me about something?

Continue reading TALES OF THE INVISIBLE BACKSTAGE CAMERA – ROAD TO THE COOL ZONE, PART ONE: SCORPION BUCKET →

THE STRUGGLE SESSION! #1

This was a thing we used to do back when we still had TV, where we’d hype up the next show by getting the talent to stand in front of a big STRUGGLE logo backdrop thing (or a brick wall with an inexplicably-placed chain link fence in front of it, or just going to their home unannounced) and talk shit about each other. It did good business and looked good on TV, so when someone found the backdrop out back, (and cleaned the bird shit off of it) we decided to make a new edition of the the STRUGGLE Session for the upcoming SHELTER IN PLACE TOUR #4 show. Of course, as always, the camera that got used was the one that Buddy From the Ring Crew had put a big Post-It note on saying “BROKEN – DO NOT USE,” and since everyone here is an idiot, the footage ended up being a bunch of purple blobs. So as always, there’s nothing but a transcript we managed to put together. Anyway, I know the average wrestling fan can’t read, but maybe someone will get something out of what we salvaged – Abdul

Continue reading THE STRUGGLE SESSION! #1 →

MEET THE FIRST HOSS DOJO CLASS OF 2020!

While enjoying a well-deserved semi-retirement, STRUGGLE/TSWA/various other promotions legend Ol’ Ross Gracie has kept busy. When our beloved Vito Genovese Memorial Bingo Complex and Auction Barn isn’t in use by STRUGGLE, the local bingo community, or that one shitty high school garage punk band whose drummer’s dad can afford to rent the building, Hoss has been there, training the superstars of tomorrow! He’s also been training several others, but they can’t all be winners, brother. Anyway, we thought it would be cool to give you, the gentle wrestling fan, a peek into the future. So we got Ol’ Hoss to sit down with assistant trainer / fellow local legend Yumiko La Grange to tell you what’s up with these people.

Read more, DAMN IT