HOUSE SHOW #16! 6-2-19

Hey, house show time. A week ago. Not pressed for time as bad as last time around, but I still don’t feel like typing much, especially after last night’s show. Watch the show (again, split by terrible internet connections), then read words.

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BREAKING NEWS: Skip Legday Injured at House Show

(copied and pasted from the Pro Wrestling Observator website, and if they say anything about it, we’ll stop letting Jeremy leak news scoops to them, and maybe rat them out for all those illegal View Japan pay-per-view streams that Gummo hooked them up with – Abdul)

Skip Legday

SOUTH CENTRAL TRI-STATE AREA – Popular newcomer and previously undefeated STRUGGLE Pro Wrestling powerhouse Skip Legday suffered a gruesome injury at last night’s house show in a routine match against Garfield Vanzetti. The injury occurred at the 11:12 mark, when Vanzetti (who normally competes on a part-time basis for local backyard fed Grim Holler Wrasslin’) when Vanzetti executed what he refers to as a “special tactical maneuver,” but to ringside observers, was simply a full-speed kick to the crotch. Skip crumpled in a heap and was counted out, while Vanzetti hightailed it back to the ring, grabbing a steel chair in the process in what appeared to a state of be pants-shitting terror. In a scary moment, Skip did not move for several minutes after the match, and was eventually stretchered out.

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The Invisible Backstage Camera #1: Evil Always Triumphs

President Evil has never been a wrestler who handled a loss well. “Son of a bitch!” he yelled, simultaneously kicking a folding chair across the room, sending wrestlers scattering. They had been previously sort of milling about the backstage area, in the absence of a functional locker room, which was due to the venue’s ongoing plumbing issues, the less said about which, the better. Assessing the situation, most of the other wrestlers quickly decided it was no longer a good idea to hang out here, and the room cleared quickly. Evil continued to vent his frustrations.

BUT WAIT! There’s MORE

THE INVISIBILE BACKSTAGE CAMERA: AN INTRODUCTION

Well, I guess we got us another weird situation going on here. I’ll be the first to admit that we don’t have the best staff in the business here. It’s a long story, but Nate’s mother (the actual, legal owner of STRUGGLE Pro) has been really stingy with funding this operation, and it’s really making a mess of things. In fact, Nate relocating back to the Tri-State Area to run this show was originally contingent on it being fully-funded by the parent company, (Ruggle Family Body Bags, LLC) but that’s a whole other thing I probably shouldn’t get into right now. The point is, we’ve had to cut a lot of corners, and in addition to the leaking roof, the barely-functional internet, and the clogged shit pipes, we’ve had a lot of trouble with the staff.

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HOUSE SHOW LUCKY 13!

Ah, hell, this happened like a week ago, and I just haven’t had the time, between the plumbing and some weird issues with one of the ring crew guys. Don’t ask; all shall be explained later. I’m going to try and be less long-winded with the match reports, because it contributes to these taking a week to type up, plus I’m not sure if anyone reads them. Well, you know. anyway, here’s the video, which Twitch will kill in a week:

Watch it’s them wrestlings, y’all from Turrible666 on www.twitch.tv There’s more if you click here, dummy.